I have spent 8 and a half years dealing with Crps and it has not been easy and I have done it
all on my own really. I mean I do everything myself from cooking to cleaning all the stuff most people
do on auto pilot. And for these years I have well I think I have done pretty well considering.
I have my two dogs in the photo above “Yes I need to fix this ” and they keep me on my toes and
help motivate me in times when I need motivating aka keeping me moving like opening the door
every five minutes to let them in or out or they want food or want to play or go for a run.
But a few days a go things got really hard and everything was not getting done dishes stacked
up, clothes everywhere and I am eating bread dry and drinking coffee. I surpose you would call it
a comfort food. But the honest thing is that is all I have that I can eat without bringing back up. my hand
feels like ice and I just can’t get it warm, my leg muscle has locked up like yours might go if you had cramp.
So after 8 year I have come to the conclusion I can’t do this on my own anymore I need help. Which is not an
easy thing for me to do. That’s when I remember a guy who I met from the local mental Health place and he said
he would help me if I needed it. but at the time I was too bloody stubborn to take his offer. So it was time to search
the web and see if I could find a him again, after about 5 mins I found the place and they had a phone number and they
had email address. Now asking for help on the phone is just dredfull to me so it was email time so I sent an email and got a reply from them saying they would like to see me on monday and have a chat.
So Monday comes and my mind is like “Do you really need help, you can keep doing it yourself” and all these
sort of thoughts and coming up with excuses of why I can’t go and then time watching 3 hours to go and 2 hours to go and still maybe I will go next week and so on. 1 hour to go.
Right decision time bugger it I am going if I don’t I am going to be in this same place next week what have I got to loose
So I get changed and I am off to town and its a beautiful day the sea is calm like a little pond. I still have major doubts
about what I am doing all the way there. I get there and there’s this big sign Mental Illness help center and I am like
I don’t have a mental Illness I should just leave this is not for me. So I sit in the car for a moment and think mental illness
do I have one and yes I do I have depression from being in chronic pain for over 8 years. So I decide right lets do this
So I walk in feeling like I am about to have a panic attack feeling very insecure with myself and I walk up to the desk and say hello I have an appointment to see Jamie. Ok if you would just like to take a seat so I am sitting there freaking out going what am I doing holding the chair because if I let go I will just get up and leave. Then finally here he comes and we go off to this room for a chat.
And within about the first five minutes this could of been the best idea I have had in 8 years to get help.
They are going to work with me and come to my place and help me deal with past situations and it all going to
be done holistically. I left there feeling like maybe after some work on me I can move forward and be more
than just someone with CRPS